- I feel like we get stuck
and that diminishes our happiness,
in part because of conditioning we go through from day one.
Well-intentioned people say this is what you need
to do to succeed.
Start to internalize those.
And I see each of those messages as kind
of a shovel that helps us dig this hole.
We kind of apply this overlay to everybody the same,
succeed in school, make good friends,
stay away from drugs, go to college, you know,
and we just assume that this is gonna work for everybody.
And it doesn't, it doesn't work for everybody.
It works for very few people.
And the few people it works for
are supposedly people like me.
And then, even people like me who walked that line perfectly
wake up one day in their 40s and say,
"Holy crap, this isn't happy.
This isn't what happy was supposed to be.
I did all the right things and I'm not happy."
Then you go back and you realize that you're in a hole.
You know, you've just been in the hole so long,
your vision is diminished.
You don't even see or realize that you're
in a hole until one day you wake up and you're suffocating.
- I had reached this point in my own life where,
externally, from the outside, it looked to be like
my life was going really well,
but I found myself waking up every single day
and just doing fine, right?
Just doing okay.
I found myself going to a place of stress,
uncertainty, self doubt, really, really easily.
And I really didn't understand it because my entire life,
I had been sold that you work hard,
you get what you want and then you'll be happy.
And here I was, and internally,
I wasn't feeling the happiness I thought I
should be at that point.
I felt very guilty about that, of course,
because I knew objectively,
I had so many things in my life
and I really didn't understand why my brain was going
to this place of worry, self doubt, stress,
what seemed to be like almost automatically.
(gentle music)
And I had this crazy idea.
I thought to myself, what if I can go to every state
in America, all 50 states and find other people,
from all walks of life, all income levels,
all backgrounds, that have reached this consistent level
of happiness, where they're waking up,
they're feeling excited for their life,
they're feeling energized.
Yes, of course, life is not ideal all of the time, right?
Everyone has tough times.
Everyone goes through things.
But finding the people that have reached
this internal happiness,
that regardless of external circumstances,
they're waking up and they're happy people.
What are they doing day to day
to create this happiness in their own life?
I have never made a documentary before.
I have zero filmmaking experience.
I bought a camera, a tripod and a microphone.
They're gonna be coming with me in my car
as I drive across the country.
So the audio and the lighting might not be the best
you've ever seen in a film or a documentary,
but bare with me because the stories and the people
you're gonna meet are incredible human beings.
All right, I'm about to head out on American Happiness
50 states, a couple of months.
We'll see how it goes.
My first stop on the American Happiness Journey
was New York City.
In New York, I chatted with so many incredible people,
but one that really stuck out and just lit
up the room with energy and excitement was Joe Cruz.
- Born and raised in Harlem.
Wasn't easy, not new Harlem.
Everyone loves to live in new Harlem.
I was old, people steal things of your feet, Harlem.
Like when I, where I grew up, people would ask, you know,
what size sneakers are those?
And the proper response was not yours, mother...
It wasn't, hey I'm a size 11,
'cause then, somebody might take your sneakers off the feet.
So I had gone through all that stuff growing up.
So I was forced to endure.
And it got me to just a tougher mindset
where I saw people being poor, single mother raised me.
You didn't have everything we wanted growing up.
I didn't realize how poor I was until I got older.
My mother never let me know that.
It could always be worse.
So I'm living in, I mean, we live in a country where 99%
of things you want to do, you can do, it's on you.
But most people have an excuse.
There's a reason not to do something, it's cold outside,
my girlfriend left me, my money isn't right.
I don't believe that.
If you don't do something, you didn't do it.
Don't blame anybody else for your problems.
- [Michelle] So what would you recommend for someone who,
they want to get to where you're at?
- Well first of all, you are your only obstacle.
If you work a 40 hour week job,
which is most people's excuse.
I work too much, okay.
If you don't spend at least one hour a day trying
to do something, you can't blame anybody else.
I like to say complacency kills.
If you're happy where you're at, you're dying slow.
You make 12 bucks an hour, try to make 12.50,
try to make 13.
If you're living with your parents,
try to get your own place.
Just do something toward it.
People spend a lot of time getting down on themselves
and why they can't.
Use that just doing something.
Even if you just text a friend, I have a question.
They might have an amazing answer.
You need perspective from other people.
Most people just beat themselves up way too much.
I have a major rule in my actual home, no negative energy.
If you have a major problem, you come in upset,
we'll talk about it.
We'll get over it.
But we're not gonna sit there for two or three hours
and you're sulking and I'm sulking.
That's not me.
I don't give a damn.
First of all, we're in a home.
We're not in the streets, homeless.
It could be way, way, way worse,
but I try to exude that energy.
Yeah, I don't know anybody more positive than me.
- [Michelle] Along with documenting and recording all
of these amazing people across America,
I also was scheduled to speak at colleges and universities
throughout the country to share the knowledge
of how to create happiness in your own life.
One of the colleges I stopped at was Sarah Lawrence
in New York, where I met Estee and Lucy.
- I think losing someone and seeing how life
is so fleeting and cut short,
it makes me, every day, feel this gratitude for life
and a gratitude for the people around me and for myself.
So I find that happiness was not trying
to reach a certain place in life because I just
have this constant reminder that death can happen any time,
which sounds really morbid.
But in a way, it kind of pushes me to make every day count
and make every day a day where I feel proud
of myself and proud of who I am.
And I think that's what kind of drives my happiness
is knowing that every day I'm living it with intention
and love and compassion and, or at least trying to.
- The reason I came to Philly is to speak at Temple.
But unfortunately, it's supposed to snow today
and they canceled or they closed down the entire campus.
So that will not be happening.
And then I doubled book today to speak at Maryland as well.
And they also closed their entire campus.
So that speech special not be happening.
You know, I'm gonna still head to College Park
in Maryland today.
I try to not let things bother me that
are out of my control.
So we'll see if it snows a lot.
It looks like it might snow a little bit,
but you never do know.
(gentle music)
So it turns out, it did snow quite a bit.
I walked into this coworking space
in Maryland and absolutely no one was there.
So I spent some time catching up, editing some videos,
and just recuperating a little bit.
(gentle music)
After staying in Maryland for a few nights, I headed south.
Charleston, South Carolina was one
of the places I'd always wanted to visit.
So I spent some time taking in the scenes and exploring.
Next step on my interview schedule
was Austin Shuck from Lexington, Kentucky.
- Like seven years ago,
my house was blown away by a tornado.
And I thought that I lost my family.
Obviously, my whole house was blown away.
So I thought I lost everything there.
You know, I didn't really know what was going on,
but I went to my house and my house was gone
and I thought my family was in it.
So I thought my family was dead for like 12 hours.
I was very active leader in my community.
I try to be very positive.
And so, I knew at that moment, I had to step up,
but it took a really big toll on me after.
Fell back on drinking.
I was in college, so that was an easy thing to do.
And I stopped working out.
I started being, stopped being active,
and I kinda just started feeling sorry for myself.
And my grandpa died like two days after that,
completely unrelated.
And it was just like, you know, it was a lot to take on.
Then, I broke my arm and I gained like 100 more pounds
and was just like, you know, I was stuck.
So I was in a car wreck in February
and it really messed my head up.
But at the same time,
I was given an opportunity to kind of start
with a clean slate.
That I want to help other people realize
that they don't have to be stuck like I was.
And that if something happens, that they should use that
not as a way to weigh yourself down.
Don't use the bricks that life's gonna hand you,
because you're gonna get handed bad stuff by life.
Use that stuff to build something new
and an opportunity.
And that's what I've done with it.
Finding gratitude in like little moments
in life will help you find extreme happiness.
It's almost like a superpower.
Yeah, you're gonna find temporary happiness
in a new jacket or a new pair of shoes.
And they're gonna look fresh on you and look cool.
But I've found that the moments in life
are where you're gonna find, like I said,
the true currency and that's where you find happiness.
And that's my favorite kind of currency is happiness
because it's so abundant that everyone can have it.
It doesn't matter if you're the poorest person
or you're the richest person,
but it's entirely up to you if you
are rich in happiness or not.
Nobody else can control it besides yourself.
- Good morning, everyone.
I'm about to oops, about to drive to the Smoky Mountains.
Super excited for that.
Then I'll be swinging by Friendsville, Tennessee,
to do an interview on a farm there.
So you guys have very good perspectives on life.
How did that develop?
Have you always been like this
or has it developed over time?
- Ooh, no.
(laughing)
- [Michelle] Tell us, tell us.
- Deep breath. (laughing)
It's been years of work.
- You just been through a lot of stuff.
And I mean, like for me,
my mom passed away young,
so I joined the military.
I left home and I didn't want to go back.
So I did whatever I had to do to stay in Florida.
- Now, seven years ago, I was diagnosed
with stage three cervical cancer and had a surgery
and something went wrong that we still not sure of.
And I went into a coma.
And so, he was basically told, try not to tear up.
He was basically told that it was up to me to survive.
- [Michelle] Wow!
- And it was really, really hard.
It's hard on me 'cause of my family.
Not on me, I was in a coma.
I didn't know what was going on.
So anyway, when I woke up from that,
I woke up with this strong urge.
I hadn't painted, I hadn't drawn,
and I hadn't done anything artistic in over 20 years.
And when I woke up from that, I had to just like,
everything, draw, paint, everything.
And I was working a very stressful job.
And I told him, "I can't do this anymore.
I want to try the art."
And he was like, "Let's do it."
- She was traveling a lot
and took a major pay cut- - To stay home.
And I moved in, and then one month later, I got laid off.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So. - We've been through
a lot together.
- I even got to the point where,
because I was looking for anything,
I went back to an old company that I worked
in St. Augustine, to detail airplanes,
to wash airplanes that I built.
- It's funny, when I first got diagnosed,
I tried to make him leave.
I picked a fight,
'cause I knew what he went through with his mom.
His mom died of lung cancer.
And so, I knew what he went through
and I knew how hard it was on him.
And I was like, this cannot be happening to this poor man.
You know, how does this happen to somebody twice
in a lifetime?
And so, I tried to make him leave and he wouldn't leave.
- Stop it.
- So, but I think a little of me rubbed off on him
as far as the, not to be so pessimistic, you know.
Because even though all this has happened, I think not,
I don't believe it's for a reason.
I don't believe that at all.
I don't believe that everything happens for a reason
because there's no reason for a lot
of the stuff that happens.
But you can either get bitter or you can get better,
and I'm not gonna get bitter no matter what.
But I don't know, I just, we go to the grocery store
and you see so many people that are just thinking like
it's just sad and I just want to give them a hug.
I mean, what would make this better?
But then there's a lot of people that are like, awesome.
And yeah.
Can we have some more of that?
I mean, remember that day I had walked
around the grocery store and smiled at everybody until
that old man finally broke and smiled at me back?
- Yeah. - Everybody, I was just like,
hey! (laughing).
And finally, this old man who was just like,
he broke into a smile.
When you're feeling down, doing for somebody else,
it can lift you faster than anything.
Even when you're broke.
Even when you think you can't lift your head
off the bed, I mean, depressed, whatever is hitting you,
doing something for somebody else and seeing their joy,
that just can elevate you like nothing else.
- I think a lot of people don't realize
that something really so small could-
- Yeah. - Be so big.
- My friend who I'm staying with
in Iowa called me last night
and he was telling me about how
they've set the record since like 1976
for the most snow this year.
So that's good.
I told him, "Oh, I didn't bring any boots."
So we're hoping the snow will melt before that.
(gentle music)
From Iowa, we headed over the border to Nebraska,
where we explored the city of Omaha and went to a game.
All right, I'm here with Blake.
Hello? How's it going?
- Hi.
- And we're going to Omaha.
Do you have any fun facts?
- Nebraska is in Nebraska and it's by Lincoln
and Macon is home of the Big Reds and Nebraska Cornhuskers,
and on game day, it is this third largest city in New York,
or in Nebraska.
(laughing) Oh my God.
I suck at that.
- Are there any other fun facts,
anything else that you think that people should know?
- Two thirds of Nebraska's population is
within 30 miles of here.
- We're in Omaha. - We're in Omaha.
- Okay.
- And...
- That's all we got about Nebraska.
- (indistinct) this is red.
- [Announcer] DePaul Blue Demons
and your Creighton Bluejays!
(audience cheering)
- [Michelle] Throughout my time in Iowa,
I felt so incredibly welcomed.
I really felt like I was back home
and it was this nice break from being
by myself for a lot of the time.
From Iowa, I headed to Kansas City where I chatted with Risa
who we met at the beginning.
- From my perspective, that goes back from day one.
You know, when you asked Susie what she wants
to be when she grows up and she says an astronaut
and you say, well, bless your heart.
That right there is sending a message
to Susie that the chances are,
she's not gonna be doing what she thinks
is gonna make her happy.
So our whole definition of what is success,
what does it look like and how you achieve it,
I think that's really what's hindering how people
are able to achieve their dreams
and experience a sense of happiness.
What do you value?
What brings you happiness?
And most of them have never even thought about that before.
I mean, I probably didn't until my mid-40s.
When they think about it,
they know what they value: adventure,
helping other people, intellectual challenges.
And if we can get them to see that they're doing
that somewhere in their life, they've got to,
there's something that they're doing right,
and we get them to focus on that and grow those experiences
so that they can overlay the rest of their lives,
that's how you start pulling out those hairs
of previous messages and the real you gets revealed.
Goals are great and achievement and recognition
is wonderful, but I can tell you firsthand
that if what you're doing, you're doing for recognition,
then it's never gonna be enough
and you're always going to be disconcerted, right?
For an individual to be happy,
you have to do what is true to you.
And if you're guiding your life based
upon some external message that you've internalized
that's driving your definition of success
and you're doing it because this is what's gonna
make mom happy or because you need another trophy
or because no one's gonna love you unless
you're making six figures, then you're never gonna be happy.
And that's a real tenuous approach to base your life upon.
Happiness, of course, comes from the inside.
- Happiness is completely internally based.
If you don't know what your purpose is,
if you don't know why you're doing what you're doing,
start there and start to ask yourself those questions.
And it's not something that you're gonna
be able to define right away.
It's not something that's going to necessarily come
to you overnight, although it may,
when you start reflecting on it.
But if you can't answer that question,
then you need to start there.
We shouldn't be setting goals related to happiness.
We shouldn't be saying, okay, I'm gonna be happy when.
You need to understand that happiness lies in the process
and in making those habitual changes and
in just that slow change in direction of your life.
And so, finding what motivates you, what drives you,
what type of things you love to do, and more importantly,
finding a way that you can have
the most positive impact on other people.
Because I truly believe that that's what life is
about is that positive impact that we can have
on other human beings.
Try to find what makes you happy,
that allows you to positively impact others
and start to take actions that bring you there
on a regular basis.
I think that's really the key to finding happiness
and finding satisfaction in your own life.
- And, if you can be happy in the worst situation life
can throw you, and there's no reason why you can't be.
I mean, yeah, life is gonna suck and you can recognize
that life sucks, but you can also recognize
that your perception plays a big role in that.
And so, for somebody else to validate you and say,
"Yeah, I see that you're depressed.
I see that your stress, I get what you're going through."
At least it peels off one layer that's keeping you
from happiness to where you say
there's something wrong with me, or I'm not good enough
or nobody understands me or I'm crazy
or I'm way too different.
Because otherwise, many of us just get in our heads
and we stew about about and focus only
on what makes us different.
And we, we shame ourselves over that rather
than glorifying the fact that we're different.
- I headed down south after Risa's interview to Arkansas
and Oklahoma, where I made an interesting discovery.
Okay, so I just spent about an hour driving around,
trying to find a welcome to Oklahoma sign.
No dice, apparently, in Oklahoma.
This is the border though.
This dirt road.
Yep.
(lively music)
Throughout the whole trip,
although I loved meeting all these new people
and exploring new places, I really,
really missed my friends.
And I was so excited because I did this weird route
so that they could come visit me
for St. Patrick's Day in Nashville.
All right, we're here in Nashville.
And we're gonna be asking everyone a particular question
about their hat and about their life.
(loudly drumming) (people murmuring)
Becca, is this the best day of your life?
- Best day of my life!
- [Crowd] USA, USA!
- After an awesome and very tiring weekend in Nashville,
I kept heading south, through Alabama, towards Florida.
I am in Pensacola Beach, Florida.
I am in Mississippi and who would have thought there
is this gorgeous beach.
Scenic route, opted for it.
Up until now, I was booking Airbnbs and places
to stay a little last minute, but I'm finally getting ahead
of it a little bit, which feels much better.
I've been getting a lot of bugs just flying
into my windshield, dying on it and getting stuck to it.
So I've really been going at it,
getting those off at the gas station.
Just a fun fact for everyone along those lines.
So I'm excited to head to new Nawlans, excuse me,
Nawlans, and I'll keep you guys posted.
♪ Welcome, welcome, welcome to our (indistinct) ♪
(loudly humming)
- We're here in Louisiana.
Just spoke at Tulane.
Some common themes from the interviews so far really are
that the people that are the happiest,
they've gone through difficult things,
or they've gone through unfortunate situations,
but they're really now doing what they truly want
to be doing, not just what they think they should be doing.
They've shifted their mindset to a place of looking
for the good in their life, the positivity, the opportunity,
rather than going into this state of complaining,
of negativity, of stress.
So those are the two common themes.
It's been really, really good to see.
From Louisiana, gonna be heading to Texas,
and then up through to the Grand Canyon,
to California, all the way up,
and then make my way back to Boston.
So American Happiness is alive and well.
We're going to- - Bump.
What a- - Frenchman's Street.
(lively music)
Throughout the whole filming process,
I did a lot of formal interviews where I
was sitting down, one-on-one with people,
but I also talked to hundreds of other people
in informal interviews where I would be out
at a bar or a restaurant or even a market.
Monroe, Monroe, did I say it right?
- Yes, you did. - Okay.
Any thoughts for the world today?
- I do have some thoughts for the world.
If this were the last thing anyone ever heard from me,
it would be to never give up hope,
that this life is yours and for you to deal with.
But also, it's not going to deal with alone.
Spread your love, spread your smiles,
and make sure your frequency is in tune with itself.
Never forget.
- I love it! - I love it!
(lively music)
- After filming a few interviews in Texas,
I headed out on the longest drive yet.
My brother and his girlfriend were already in Las Vegas,
ready to meet me and to celebrate life a little bit.
So I had to book it there and drove
about 16 hours in one day.
As you can imagine, I got very used to driving
for extensive amounts of time throughout this journey.
And I found around the six hour mark,
I started to get a little bit loopy.
So, as we now know, had a lot time in the car today.
And there was one point where Tarzan soundtrack,
Phil Collins came on, magical moments.
I didn't have the rights to the song
but here is a silent video of me singing it.
(lively music)
Beautiful desert here.
I've got about four more to go 'till Flagstaff.
(lively music)
Pretty much living my dream today.
I'm at the Grand Canyon.
It is just glorious.
All right, made it to Vegas.
- [Male] Film's going, let's go!
(screaming) - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(indistinct)
(lively music) (vocalizing)
- A common theme that kept coming up,
time and time again, was happiness is internal.
You have to choose it for yourself.
And for myself, I had looked towards the relationships I
was in, the things I bought,
and the goals I accomplished to really validate
and bring in that happiness to my own life.
And so, I started to shift my perspective on happiness.
So we're here in Pacific Beach, San Diego.
Athena is here. - Hello.
- How's your day going?
- It's great.
Who doesn't like being on the beach?
- Yes, we're right in front of the beach.
It is glorious.
It's a good life. - It's a good life.
- [Michelle] Do you guys remember Monroe from Louisiana?
Turns out, he actually lives in California.
He was just visiting Louisiana.
So I was able to sit down with Monroe and get
a few more thoughts on his perspective on happiness
and how to create it.
- You have to make a different decision.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over
and over again, expecting a different result.
Whatever it is that you want to change, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
I get it.
I've been in literally jail.
I can not leave this room.
You know what I mean?
Like I, I get it.
Sometimes you were in the situation you were in.
However, you are not bound by the walls around you.
You are bound by the walls in your mind.
You break down those walls, you expand.
We are chained by whatever delusions we have negativity,
which do not actually exist.
Fear is, does not exist.
People are so worried about the sky falling,
but when it actually falls, you're like, oh, well
let's just figure it out.
You have to assess where you're at
and enjoy where you're at,
'cause you can only be right here, right now.
That's the only time that exists, right now.
Slow down, breathe and ask yourself, is it really that bad?
You know, or better yet, how good is it?
When something doesn't go your way or you trip
or you fall, don't beat yourself up.
It happens.
You are human.
Life is life.
That does not stop you on your journey
because you tripped on a pebble.
Do not major in minor things, major in major things.
That's the easiest thing we do.
How did that person just perceive me that I just?
So make yourself the third person.
And you will be surprised what you find out.
- I'm not Sarah anymore, but I want to meet me.
And like, what would I think of me?
Like what I think like then that's someone like
I want to spend my time with or like,
she is super energetic.
Taking yourself out of your own body
and like meeting yourself and being that person
that you would want to meet within yourself.
- [Michelle] With conducting all these interviews,
certain themes and words and phrases
came up over and over again.
And it was crazy because on complete different sides
of the country, people from different backgrounds
and different circumstances were saying
the exact same things on how
to create happiness in their own life.
(lively music)
♪ Hey ♪
- I thought, yesterday, I was at the edge of America.
Today, literally at the edge of America.
Look at this!
Crazy, crazy, crazy.
Just a few seconds ago,
it was torrentially down pouring here.
So driving, oops, almost just fell.
Driving through the cliffs in torrential downpour
was interesting.
(lively music) (vocalizing)
I'm heading to Bixby Bridge and then,
gonna be going up to Oakland.
♪ Hey ♪
(vocalizing)
♪ Hey ♪
(lively music)
♪ Hey ♪
- You know, coming from central America,
being a young kid, dealing with war
and seeing really bad things makes you develop
a sense of warrior spirit.
With what I saw, you know, with what happened to my family,
I just figured, you know, I just have to keep moving.
And once you realize you have to move forward,
whatever the obstacles are in your life,
I think that always gives you like a sense of peace
that not, you're not always going to be the same.
Always look for a way, no matter what, you know,
darkness comes in my life,
I always look for a positive outlook
in everything that I do.
- [Michelle] Maybe someone in your life is kind
of bringing you down, pulling you down.
How do you get out of that situation?
- You either get rid of them or either you tell them.
You have to because ultimately, at the end of the day,
that happiness is on you, nobody else.
And that's how I, like with coworkers,
if they're negative, I just tune them out.
I'm happy.
I laugh.
I work.
If it's negative and negative and negative,
it's never going to change.
And the only, say people I want to change.
I want to be happy.
I want to do this.
What are you doing about it?
- So I was feeling pretty depleted today,
kind of for the first time in the trip that,
just feeling beat.
And I had an interview with Veronica this morning
and she said to be with nature.
And so, I decided to take her advice.
I'm sitting on this stump that I found here.
Just climbed up on the steep hill here to get to the stump.
And it was like lighted by the sunlight
- [Navigation] Arrive in Soda Springs Road.
- Okay, so as you can see, this is the Jeep.
This is the snow.
It's insane.
It has to be like, look at this pole here.
It's crazy high.
That's the Jeep.
This is the snow, all right.
I was heading to Lake Tahoe and they had to shut down
the highway due to an avalanche.
So I've turned back around and I'm gonna
go back the way I came
(gentle music)
Yesterday, I went to dinner and the redwoods
weren't really on the route I was gonna go.
So I thought, you know, I'll come back at some point
in my life and see them.
And it was the weirdest thing
because I'm sitting at the bar eating my pizza
and a guy sits down next to me and, you know,
makes a comment about how much garlic is on my pizza.
I got garlic as a topping, kind of a bold move.
It turns out he's this homicide detective and he's
in town going to a prison near the Redwood Park here.
And we're in Oregon.
But the park was just over the border in California.
And he starts talking about the redwoods
and about how incredible they were.
And I'd always wanted to see the redwoods.
And so I took it as a sign that this random guy
sat down next to me and started talking to me about it.
Had to come out and see them while I was here
on the west coast.
This park is insane.
The tree trunks themselves, has to be at least 20 feet wide.
(gentle music)
I made my way up the coast of California,
ultimately ending up in Salt Lake City where I was waiting
for my friend, Patrick, who is flying in from Boston.
- We're reaching like- - We're here.
- We're reaching like three hours in-
- Yeah, we're reaching the delusion.
I was telling Patrick about this.
The delusion sets in, I don't know,
three hours is kind of low. - Yeah.
- I would say delusion sets in around six, seven hours.
- Fair. - Six, seven hour mark.
So, yeah, we're right now, we're driving from Salt Lake City
to Steamboat Springs, Colorado.
I met a guy in Idaho who said, go check out a hot spring,
and then going to Cheyenne, Wyoming after that.
Still in Utah, okay.
(whooping)
At the border of Utah, we're gonna spin around.
That's Colorado, baby.
Here he is.
Okay, now, we're here.
We're in Colorado.
Let's go.
Patrick has told us that he will be attempting a back flip
on this very ground.
And it's a magical moment.
We're gonna pan out as the shoes get prepared.
There's Utah, looking real good,
After witnessing an incredible back flip,
we headed to Steamboat Springs.
We just went in the hot springs here.
- Yeah. - In Colorado.
And there was,
the hot springs are like 90 degrees, 100 degrees..
- They're less than 104, but they're hot.
- And right next to it,
it's like this phenomenon where it's like ice cold.
- It's like freezing cold.
- Freezing. - Absolutely.
- Like 30 degree water, water.
- Uh-huh,
So, of course- - We decided to
do an ice plunge. - Uh-huh.
- And- - Followed immediately by...
- A hot plunge. (laughing)
And it was very jolting.
We're both getting cold plunge pools back in Boston.
I'm out of breath.
The plunge did take a toll though.
- The rest- - The shock of the body.
We also tried to capture some B roll, which went okay.
- [Patrick] Clean up your stuff, right, like a-
- Am I in this?
What's this angle?
- [Patrick] B roll, though.
It's supposed to be like super casual, right?
- [Michelle] Is it good lighting, though?
We're creating a stellar documentary.
- Terrible lighting. - Yeah, Patrick.
You need to get it together.
- [Patrick] All right, now it's much better.
- Let's turn on the light.
Should we turn on the light?
- Oh, well yeah. - Is there even a light?
There's no light.
Is it fine?
How dark is this?
This B roll is actually calculated.
- Is it? - Yes.
- Ah. - So this is it.
This is the magic.
Maybe just film me like looking out, smiling.
(gentle music)
- [Patrick] So B roll's calculated, huh?
But B roll is just like... - What, shit?
That's what's in there.
I can't wait to watch that video.
- [Patrick] I thought it's just like whatever's behind.
Like, just the behind. - Yeah, but it's like,
we're not.
Yeah, but it's like. (loudly coughing)
Oh my God. - I'm dying.
- All right, let's go. - I'm living.
- Let's go in. - I think I'm living.
All right, let's go in.
Wow, great B roll.
- And with our B roll attempt behind us,
we headed on our way.
(lively music) (vocalizing)
♪ Hey ♪
- It's the end of November.
I'm traveling in north Idaho.
I have hair down to here, a beard out to here,
and a black eye out to here from my last game
of full contact pool.
That's what I called it, okay.
I get pulled over by a police officer,
and it's interesting, as they're clicking the cuffs
on me to take me to jail, in that moment,
there was a thought that went through my head.
And the thought was, I can't go to jail.
It's Sunday.
Tomorrow's Monday night.
It's Monday night football at Buck and Edna's,
it's my turn to buy.
So I'm planning, in that moment, my next drunk.
I'm planning, in that moment,
my next activity that's perpetuating the problem,
the problematic life I'm living.
And so what happened was is there was another thought
that followed that and said this is insane.
It has to stop.
And that was the turning point for me.
That was like a moment of clarity.
But it was a struggle because, I mean,
the emotional, you know.
Like when you get off of drugs and alcohol,
you think like, I lost my best friend.
And there's an emotional disconnect.
Like you're burying somebody that you love.
You've never going to have that relationship ever again.
That's kind of how it feels sometimes, you know?
So I was blessed.
I ran into people that, you know,
they had straightened their lives out
and they were willing to help.
But their attitude was, you know, you're the one drowning.
We're in the life raft.
I'll reach out, we'll help you.
And if it takes more than one, we'll all, right,
we'll pull you in.
But if you start pulling back, we'll let you go.
And it was still, you know,
maybe, I guess the term might be tough love,
but it was real, you know?
And from that, I've been able to live an amazing life.
You know, it's limited association with
what's bringing you down.
I mean, like for me, there was certain family members,
right, that I had to like practice limited association
until I could get myself right.
And I think everybody has that.
We have those influences in our lives that probably
aren't taking us in the best direction.
But if you're spending time with people that
are complaining about their job
and complaining about the economy and complaining
about politics and all this other stuff that's going on,
that wants your attention,
then you're gonna start modeling that.
But if you're running with people that say, look,
I see us, I see the problem,
but here's how we can make it better.
I see this as the challenge,
but here's what we could do differently.
Start asking better questions of ourselves.
I was talking to somebody just the day in the clinic
and she was struggling with a child.
And I said,
"Well, how do you talk to yourself about your child?"
"Well, what do you mean?"
"Well, what is your internal dialogue with you,
regarding your child?"
"Well, I ask myself why he behaves so terribly."
And I said, "Why don't you change the question,"
because the quality of your life is based on the quality
of questions you ask yourself, not others,
but what you ask of you.
I had to do it with my own son, my oldest son.
I had to ask myself, you know,
instead of why is he doing that saying, well,
what can I do to influence a better outcome for him?
Right, I had to practice this with me
in my own relationships.
And the more I do, it becomes like second nature.
It just becomes a new habit.
And that's what guides us is our habit.
You know, you can't think your way into clarity about life.
You can't, we can't, I can't think my way into
a clear direction.
I have to act my way in.
I have to do the work, and then gain the experience
that serves me and others.
And that truly is where happiness lies.
- I am at the devil's tower,
which is this thing right there.
Apparently, it's America's favorite national monument
here in Wyoming.
A little out of it.
I got to get a coffee here.
6:00 pm coffee, yet again.
About an hour from Montana.
(lively music) (vocalizing)
♪ Hey ♪
- All right, I've made it here to the Wyoming border.
It's also Camp Devin, fun fact,
and gonna walk over to Montana now.
(sighing loudly) Such a lovely stroll to Montana.
And here we are in Montana.
There it is.
So I just drove...
Hopefully you guys can see that sign.
And just drove across the entire state of Wyoming,
crossing over, stopping in for a little bit.
And then heading to South Dakota tonight
to stay around Mount Rushmore,
check that out in the morning,
and head through the Badlands.
And then, towards east
As I traveled across the country, I couldn't help but notice
that every person I spoke with had gone
through some external circumstance that was less than ideal.
But I wanted to look into the science
and the research behind how much do these external things,
like our income levels, our material possessions,
our relationships, our location,
how much does this actually impact our happiness levels?
And what I found was a really, really interesting.
Only 10% of your happiness is determined
by external factors.
This is why, if you've ever bought a new jacket
or gotten a promotion at your job,
you go back to feeling pretty much the same way
after a couple hours or a couple days.
The majority of your happiness is determined
by how your brain is processing the world, yourself,
and your circumstances.
This is why someone who's gone
through really difficult times can be the most happy
and generous person you know.
And on the flip side of that, the richest,
most successful person can be miserable
and burnt out all the time.
How you're viewing your life and your circumstances
can either be positive or negative.
But the good news is, is it's entirely up to you.
Happiness, as we've been hearing, throughout the country,
comes from within, it is internal and it's a choice.
And I was never taught that growing up.
I was taught that you work hard, you get what you want,
then you'll be happy.
It's this external thing.
And so, I started implementing the tactics and teachings
I had learned through doing this research into my own life.
And it was incredible the impact it had almost immediately.
I went from waking up, feeling stressed out and worried
to feeling excited and energized for the day ahead.
(lively music) (vocalizing)
♪ Hey ♪
(lively music) (vocalizing)
♪ Hey ♪
(lively music) (vocalizing)
♪ Hey ♪
- So I went for a stroll today after driving from Minnesota.
And I'm here today in Milwaukee.
That's just gorgeous.
I'm right here by the water
and feeling so much better after taking a walk,
after putting on some pump-up tunes.
It's amazing how much those small things
can change your mood, change your day,
just to get your body moving,
to change your state a little bit helps so, so much.
From Milwaukee, I headed to Michigan,
where I chatted with Jorge Martinez.
- Yeah, I was in a very depressive state.
Ever since I started working in the office,
I gained about 30 pounds, which was fine.
I was good with that.
But then, when I got like, I felt all depressed,
I even gained another 15 pounds.
And then I would look at myself,
I'm like, that's not me in the mirror, you know.
So then it was like, I told you, I was all,
I was in my cubicle, 'cause I work in a cubicle,
and I dunno, I just looked up and I was like,
oh God, help me.
And then, well break comes up and I pop on the YouTube
and some videos pop out, you know, right away.
And then that video popped out that it was
about the seven chakras explained in a cartoon.
And since I recognize the cartoon, I watched it.
I closed my eyes and I just did everything it was say,
telling me to say in my mind for those nine minutes.
And after those nine minutes were over, I was like,
immediately, I felt something better.
Like right here. - Yeah.
- Immediately, like I felt like
a weight had fallen off me, you know, and I felt good.
And then the very next day,
I just got up and I just knew what I had to do.
I was like, I'm not gonna be in a depressive state anymore.
I'm gonna stay busy because if I'm not,
if I'm feeling depressed,
I got to move.
The steps that they told you to do
were certain questions that you had to ask yourself.
I think the most important one, you had to forgive yourself,
honestly and truly, if you really meant it, you know.
- In order for me to love my own life and be happy,
I have to forgive myself about the mistakes of the past.
I can't be hating my, you know, what shaped me.
- Forgive yourself for any wrongdoings
that you may have done in the past,
that you did it purposely or not purposely,
that it happened.
It's a learning process also.
So forgive yourself for doing that,
if you really mean it and you're not gonna do it again.
I think that was the biggest part
that made me just switch my mind.
You know, I was like, yes, I do forgive myself,
and I need to better myself.
And then, just happened the next day.
- - [Michelle] Wow. That's incredible.
- Yeah, I felt great that whole day.
- Yeah. - Really good.
And then, I slept so good.
That was another one.
I slept so, so good.
So good that night.
- [Michelle] Did you have trouble sleeping before?
- Yes!
I would wake up in the middle of the night sometimes,
you know, I'd move around.
But no, that night, I laid down and the way I laid down
was the way I woke up.
Awesome. Didn't even move.
- Wow! - Yeah.
And it was just, and then I, that's when I got up
and I was like, all right. - Yeah.
- Time to make some changes.
- [Michelle] I love that.
And what were those changes you made when you're feeling,
you know- - First of all,
what I had to do was definitely lose those 15 pounds,
'cause that was not me no more.
I could not run.
I was doing horrible in the soccer league
and people were starting to catch on.
So what I did, I was like, gotta work out, got to exercise.
So I started exercising, breathing.
That was something very important I had to learn to do.
Just, just breathe, you know,
just take time to not do anything but breathe.
And it just calms your world.
And I started worrying less about things
and things got better.
Before that day, when I was all depressed and everything,
you know, something would go wrong,
and I'd complain about it.
And something worse would happen
after I'd complained about it, you know?
And even with my family, you know, we'd get into a lot
of arguments and it's like the arguments beat you.
- [Michelle] Yeah.
That's, that's amazing that it's also rubbed off on,
you said, your family where- - Yeah.
- [Michelle] Can you talk a little bit more about that?
- That's crazy too.
Like now, you know, if I would complain, you know,
and everybody would start complaining
and everybody would keep complaining.
But now, if anything happens and if somebody
says something negative, I'll say something positive.
It triggers everybody else to be like, yeah.
Why are you thinking that?
- Yeah. - And I, and I see that,
definitely, now that I'm more positive.
There's been a lot less arguments,
- Yeah. - With our family
and everything. - That's good.
(gentle music)
As I drove home to Boston,
I kept replaying the experience in my mind.
And there was one question that I asked
at the end of every single interview,
regardless of where I was in the country
or who I was talking to.
If someone watching this wants to be happier,
what's a good first step?
The response was overwhelming.
Make a change.
It could be in the way you're thinking,
it could be in the way you start your day
or the way you act.
But you've got to decide to make that change.
(lively music)
♪ Hey ♪
- The first thing is realizing that you have power.
You have to understand that you really do have the power,
as a human being, to affect your happiness
and decide to be happy.
No, you don't always have control over
how life happens to you.
But you always have power to respond.
I think that's why America's a great country is
because we have real people who deal with real issues,
who acknowledge, no, I have power to do something about this
and they go try it and they go do it.
- [Michelle] Gratitude is a super power.
Positive energy is contagious.
The small things really are the big things.
Forgiving yourself is powerful.
The way you're viewing your life is your life.
And you can choose happiness each and every day,
regardless of what's happening around you.
So the real question is, are you going to?
(lively music)