And dreamed of all the great things we would do
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day...
By the way, that's the only song you have on your playlist right?
What do I do, your mother drove me up the wall singing this song for 35 years
now I have also started liking it.
Do you remember that road trip to Nainital?
We listened to this track on loop all through the way...
It was fun, but now back to the grind...
Just a minute, someone's calling.
Now who is calling you Mom, even on holiday...
Busy bee!
Hello... Hello
(Voice on the phone) Ma’am you have got the World TV Guild Award this year.
Oh wow!!!
(Voice on the phone) This is Riya and a very hearty congratulations to you.
Oh, thank you
(Voice on the phone) Ma’am, can I ask you one very simple question please?
Uh, not the usual please, how do you feel, I hate that kind of journalism.
Look it’s not that simple, I am just returning from a holiday with my family, so, can you call tomorrow?
(Voice on the phone) Ok ma’am
Sorry sweetheart
(Voice on the phone) Thank you, I will call you tomorrow.
- Wow, Mom, awesome, I love you so much - Wow, madam, you’re amazing! Wonderful!
We must have a party now, what say?
Yes, Just like what we had last year - after your promotion?
A typical cocktail tango of media and corporate?
There’s one more thing…your corporate guys are really a boring bunch.
Hey, just a minute, why are you laughing? She is pulling my leg
Listen, after two drinks these corporate guys have no clue where they are!
What do you say Shivani, we must have a party!
Papa, this time my university friends will also join.
Done!
So…
When is the award ceremony?
After a week I suppose
Mamma I will also come along
And me too, I will make sure I am there
Ok, we’ll all go!
Great
Ok, shall we leave now?
Yes, let’s go
Yes sir, right, yes, right…
Mr Sharma’s loan application sir, yes sir, give me half an hour,
thank you sir, good day, good day.
What are you looking for?
Script. Today is the edit.
Where is... Where is Shivani?
She already left.
Alright,
good luck with your search,
my dear darling beautiful wife!
Where can it go…
Didi,
in the washing machine, with the saree, it got washed.
Congrats ma’am, this would be played in the award function, right?
Yes, forward this.
Yes.
Yeah, stop there, give a flash.
Ok ma’am, take a look...
Ma’am, take a look.
Why did you give a flash here?
Ma’am, you just told me to…
I did?
Yes, ma’am... at what time is the function?
Excuse me..
Yes?
Mamma, where are you?
I don’t know…
I don’t know means what?
I don’t know means I don’t know only.
Mamma you were supposed to pick me up.
Ok forget it, I will just come myself.
Sweetheart, I am sorry, Shivani…
Oh, you are at home? Where is your mom? You didn’t go?
I don’t know, she didn’t even come to pick me up
Hey hi!
Hi!
How was it? I got stuck at work, really sorry, sweetheart…
For what?
Mom, I was waiting for you, you were supposed to pick me up
Where?
Some politics at the function?
I can’t understand what you people are talking about
Are you joking? Today was your award function, you didn’t go?
You didn't go?
And this year’s World TV Guild Award goes to…Adhira Goswami…
By the way, what will you do there? You don’t miss work, Papa?
Who says I am not going to be working there?
Please, you mean growing tomatoes? Have you done that kind of thing before?
Ello, it’s called organic farming young lady
Ok fine,
but surrounded by mountains, alone, won’t you feel anxious?
Anxious?
I can’t come yaar, Mom is not well…no she has some headache or something…
I know I promised Mohit but I can’t leave her like this and come…
…uh…what happened? Ok, I’ll call back…
Mamma, what happened…?
There….somebody there ...go...
she is just a child….go…go……
Mamma there is nothing there! What’s happening to you Mamma? Mamma….oh my God….
Papa, please come home Papa…
Adhira,
did you have a nightmare today?
Of course not
Where had you gone? You didn’t take your phone also?
All well Adhira? Ok, Shivani called, she will be staying over at her friend’s place tonight.
Adhira…
Adhira why are you behaving like this yaar?
By the way, I called your office today,
you didn’t go to office?
Office? Why did you call up the office?
I was worried about you damn it!
Worried or spying?
Stop this nonsense!
This is disgusting!
I am tired of your mood swings Adhira,
you are not the only one who has professional problems, I do too….
Disgusting. I feel like going away
Go then, go away
leave me.
You are tired of me Gaurav?
Again the same drama?
That’s it Gaurav, stop it. Stop it please.
I am not doing any drama,
drama queen huh?
You don’t see anything! Can’t you see Gaurav? Look at me
…can’t you see I’m struggling…struggling with myself, with words, with actions, with everyday chores.
The work I used to complete in ten minutes now takes me hours and hours.
I forget.
I forgot my own award ceremony Gaurav!
Can’t you see all this? Tired of myself
I am tired, tired of you Gaurav,
There’s always a fear that haunts me, I am not even able to cross the road.
.And the truth is Gaurav I hate being helpless.
I am sorry
Ok Adhira, now I’ll tell you something and you will have to repeat it for me after a while. Ok?
Alright, yesterday I met a girl, she is 19 years old and an acid survivor…
Ninety nine, ninety eight…
Tell me the name of the village and the girl that I met yesterday…
Adhira…?
B, B block
Hmmm, and the house number?
Beautiful hand clock
Mom, it’s a watch
Of course,
Doctor, she feels something is happening to her, she screams, cries, hides
I have her medical analysis right here in front of me...
Well, it’s Alzheimer’s, early onset.
What’s that?
The research is going on but so far we do not have any effective cure.
We cannot be sure about life, right? It can be one day, one year, maybe ten fifteen twenty years, right?
We cannot be sure. Yes, there’s one more thing, often early onset is genetic. So…
Doctor, I don’t want to know, I don’t want to live in fear.
We were looking for you everywhere...
What did Dr Sameena say?
Why aren't you people telling me?...
Shivani!... I’m not a child. Ok?...
I need to know.
What is it?
So I am right..
It’s brain tumour?
I’m going to... die?
Alzheimer’s...
Meaning?
In simple words.
Slowly your brain will betray you
Meaning... I will be alive... but... dead...I
I will be in a vegetative state...
Come, the door was open, usually it’s not.
Mohit, please see upstairs….
Renu Kaki! Mamma…
Did you find her?
Yes…come out from there…Renu Kaki!
She has gone to the market
Alright, what are you doing down here?
I was scared
Of what?
I don’t know, very scared…who is this?
Namaste Aunty
Mamma that’s Mohit…
Who Mohit?
I told you, my batch mate…
You look like a thief
Mamma!
Why have you come?
How are you talking Mamma?
Aunty, I’m here to meet you, don’t you remember your school friend Sandhya? I’m her son
And this morning you only called me up and asked me to come over, and bring this for you
Listen...
am sorry...
What for?
You know Shivani.
My Nanaji (maternal grandfather) also used to behave like this..
My Nanaji (maternal grandfather) also used to behave like this.
I was five years old when father abandoned us
after that, Nanaji took us home and supported us.
He paid for my education.
He took care of my needs... he loved me and
even I loved him a lot.
He was my real inspiration.
..but.
After a few years he began to behave in a peculiar manner.
Nani (maternal grandmother), neighbours... everybody labelled him... they considered him to be crazy... mad.
If a person is not like them, they consider that person as abnormal..
Everybody began to make fun of him
that mocking laughter still haunts me..
The worst was that
I began to believe in people...
it became my truth, too... that... that he had gone mad... I forgot everything that he had done for me.
I forgot everything...
What exactly happened to him?
I don’t know.
Just know that he stopped telling stories to me
He was a professor of Hindi... and he himself forgot to read and write..
Mohit... even Mamma... somewhat behaves like this... isn’t?
Nani had told me not to leave him alone.
But I let him go.
I let him go to die on the streets.
..I let him go... Shivani.
I didn’t stop him even once...
..Till now I have not told this truth to anyone..
Who could I have told
how could I...
Didn’t have guts
I am the culprit... Shivani...
I am the culprit...
No...
I let him go Shivani..
Nooo!
I let him go Shivani.
.. Come let’s go...
Papa.
Mamma..
What are you drinking, alone.
Ok, tell me, do you remember this yellow top I've worn...
oh my god..
What happened?
The gas burner is on... papa..
Renu..
Adhira..you again went to the kitchen..?
You should have asked Shivani, Renu or me..
Renu... Renu.. Where are you?
Kaki.. burner was switched on..
- There could have been an accident, Renu.. -
Didi..are you fine?...In future if you need anything then tell me...
Adhira... after today, you will never ever enter the kitchen..
Papa... relax...!! It's fine..
It's not a big deal...
What happened Mamma?
It's nothing..nothing has happened...
- Where are you going? - Papa...
Papa... you should not have been angry at her like this.
I know...
But even I am human...
I am tired now..
This is killing me...
It is suffocating me...
Suffocating?
Papa, you are suffocating?
I don't know what to say?
I have to go.
I am sorry.
Gradually I will not be able to recognize you, Shivani, or myself...
I will forget everything.
I wish I had something else.
I am tired Gaurav, I am tired of myself.
Yes, that’s fine
Which one should I wear? My students’ convocation is coming up
Wear whatever you want, but you must wear that necklace for sure
Necklace?
That pearl necklace... which we have not one but two of the same kind….
Papa, which one of these? Quickly…
Your mom should have been here…
I know! I told her it’s Sneha’s engagement, I think she forgot…
I remember
Thank God you’re here Mom
I have got something…
Really?
For you…
What? Show…
Close your eyes…Gaurav, close your eyes…
Alright, fine…
Open!
What happened?
Didn’t like it?
Mamma, just day before yesterday…
Throw it
No, no, we will get it changed
Yes...
My name is Gaurav Mazumdar
and my wife’s name is Adhira Goswami...
yes, that’s right, Goswami
I have an urgent request
I want you to block her debit and credit cards
Yes, yes, urgently.
No, no... She can’t come and talk to you on the phone
I will get the medical documents and other documents to you at the bank.
Yes.
Thank you.
Didi (Sister) it is tea time now... I will bring tea for you. Ok?
Didi... it is tea time now...
Be careful... It’s hot..
Alright...
Didi tell me a story..
Or tell me something interesting... something new
Do you remember, earlier you used to tell me so many stories.
But see... I couldn’t learn anything...
Didi...
Didi listen.
I will just make it lukewarm... and come... ok?
Mamma, you are looking so pretty, and look at me, what a weird hairstyle
Ok, what do we have to do now Mamma?
Food?
Food? No…
Nobody gave me any food
What are you saying? You just had your food…
Nobody gives me food…
Nobody gives you food?
Puzzle time! Come, let’s play
Yeah, come on Adhira, let’s play
Yes, we’re gonna play…
Hey, you know Adhira, Anuja is back from America
let’s go meet her no!
Oh, Aunt (Bua) is back?
Yeah, let’s go day after?
Yeah
I don’t want to go
Why Mom? Even I want to meet her
And what happens to your studies?
Papa, just a few days na
unless, you guys don’t want to take me…
Aha! My little girl is growing up! I need to find a handsome husband for you now…
Papa, what are you saying! What happened Mamma?
Don’t want to go!
Come on Adhira, we haven’t gone out for a long time
I...I can take my own decisions
Come on, we are going, that’s it
Mom we need to have an outing together
No
But why?
Sir, this is Gaurav.
Is that opportunity in Bangalore still available?
Yes sir,
Yes sir, I would be interested in relocating.
No sir,
not with the family,
alone sir
Alone.
What happened? Why didn’t you come today?
You know, by seeing the lines on the hand one can know how many children one will have?
And your lines show that you will have 8 children..
What nonsense, you are saying.
You know at times I feel that why can’t life be like a book.
So that we can read the last page right in the beginning...
Sure!
Sure, we will read the last page first... but first, tell me what is disturbing you?
Umm... what happened?
Mohit... I am missing Mom a lot.
It just kills me to see her like this
I can’t recognise her.
You know even... Papa is breaking down.
I can’t write
Mohit... We are watching TV together.
.but she is in her own world... I can’t reach out to her...
.What should I do?
Mohit.
Mamma is slipping away
every day she dies. `
Everyday a part of her dies.
That empty lost dying look..
There’s nothing of my mother left in her, Mohit..
There's nothing of my mother left in her...
We wanted to go for an outing....asked her... she refused... got annoyed.
She will not go, Shivani.
But why?
She is frightened...
frightened of herself... people..
We are with her Mohit..
She does not trust anyone now, Shivani
No one..
My name is
Adhira
My husband’s name is Gaurav
Mazumdar
My...
daughter’s name is….
Mamma, please tell Mamma, Mamma please…
I am telling you, please don’t annoy me…Sh..
Didi,
Didi are you looking for something?
Should I help you?
Huh? What?
No, don’t get worried…tell me,
What are you searching for?
Is it in this room? Is it a book? Which book it is?
Tell me
Let me help you, you are getting so upset,
Is it in this room?
It a book or something else? Some paper?
Please listen to me,
Didi please listen
…Why don’t you tell
Please listen, you are just getting distressed,
tell me, what happened…
Tell me what is it that you want…Adhira!
Adhira...
What happened?
Help your Mom Shivani!
What happened...
Why are you talking like that Papa.
What?
What, what?
So irritating!
What did you say?
Mamma what happened?
Shivani, please see yaar…
Mamma, what do you want, what happened?
What happened?
What happened. Mamma?
Mamma why are you crying?
What happened..
Give..I will write down for you?
Okay.. Mamma..
Why are you crying..
Open your mouth,
my sweet Didi, my dear Didi, open your mouth…
Please open your mouth... open.
Nothing, nothing Baby, nothing happened
Papa
what are you doing so late at night?
Not able to sleep, my child
Ok Papa,
You remember I had applied for that research fellowship?
Yes yes, what about it?
I got it!
Oh wow, wonderful, congratulations!
But, I will have to go to London, for a year
Very good, and that lecturer’s post?
I don’t know Papa, these days the university is
…Anyway, I was thinking, Grandmother had willed that ancestral house to me..
Let’s sell it
No, Shivani
Papa I understand
It’s not the expense…
It’s not that.
It’s your Mom,
she is slipping away,
She is slipping away Shivani,
and I can’t do anything about it
You know, we had dreamt…
We had struggled together,
we rebelled against our families,
we lived in acute poverty,
we even sold your mother’s bangles.
And now that the circumstances have improved,
when we wanted to live together peacefully,
spend time together on our own terms,
and see you fulfilling your dreams…
I feel so helpless…
Why us?
Papa,
maybe we should have tried a little more…
My child, I tried,
I really did.
But you will never understand,
you will never understand
what it is to mourn a partner who was there,
yet not there…
Adhira,
you remember we used to come here quite often?
And do you remember this photograph?
This one…taken when I joined the MBA…
And you know…
Who?
You know Adhira,
I did not take that posting,
I think I will take VRS,
I am tired of going to office every day.
And you always used to say
we will relax and enjoy nature ..together…
Didi, what are you doing?
Come, let’s change your clothes?
How are you feeling today?
Where is he?
Who?
Him!
Bhaiya! ...He has gone out, he will return
Give my purse.. where is my purse?
Yes, yes... here it is
Hundred rupees are less,
he must have stolen it,
yes…
Didi, what are you saying!
Let’s change your clothes,
will you wear this one or that one? Tell me…Didi!
Didi...
Yes yes, she is 56 years old
…yes yes, she is ill, yes,
we just came to know that she is not at home,
yes yes, please do something….
Mohit, we can’t find Mom anywhere,
please come soon
Renu, why did you not put the lock on the main door?
What if something happens to her?
Shivani, how could you be so careless?
Didi...
where were you,
we were getting so worried
Mom, where had you gone?
I’m packing all these woollens, you will need them
So many? Not required…
It will get really cold,
and your Bengali genes won’t be able to take it.
Really?
By the way you also have a strong set of Bengali genes…
I am a Delhite
Really!
Where is Renu?
She has gone home.
Shivani...
so, what is the plan?
What plan?
The one you had mentioned…London…research…
Oh that! It was.
Was? Meaning?
Where is Renu?
Mamma she has gone home, Papa was telling you about it…
No No…what do you mean it ‘was’?
I didn’t take it up Papa
But why?
Shivani..
Where is Renu? Call her
Shivani I am here to look after your Mom
Papa I understand all that, but…
I think I am one of those people who don’t know what they want to do in life.
This is utter nonsense
It’s not nonsense Papa, I have been thinking about it,
I think I should take up a job,
I want to earn…
after all how long will I keep on studying, Papa!
You are talking rubbish and I am listening to your rubbish.
You are going, that’s it, period.
It’s not rubbish Papa, it’s my life, I have been thinking about this,
and I just don’t want to
Young lady, don’t you dare talk to me like that!
Where is Renu? Call her
My life, what does that mean!
Papa, why don’t you understand!
I am frightened…
My child I understand, but I am here for your mom.
I am there..
Your Mom and I dreamt about you going overseas…
Papa times were very different then
What times were different?
You can’t do this with your life
You have got a full life ahead
Where is Renu, call her
Mamma, what’s your problem?
You know what? Renu is gone, she’s left,
and you know why? Because she was tired of you, like I am…
Shivani!
Shivani what are you doing? Please try and understand,
Life is not lived on emotions…Shivani please, at least listen to me…
Your whole life lies ahead of you, Shivani!
Nothing…
Gaurav,
go,
you are free.
Sir, you?
How are you?
So, Gaurav, you are one of my most trusted financial analysts,
how are you liking your VRS holidays?
Fine, Sir
What do the doctors say?
Nothing much sir
What have you thought about your future?
Sir at this point in time, nothing, just Adhira
That’s fine, but…
No, Sir, let me fight my own battles, I have stopped playing those corporate games,
don’t want to play them anymore…
let’s forget all this and go down for dinner...
Why, Adhira?
Mamma…
I give up... let me go.
No Mamma,
I am sorry, I am very sorry Mamma…
Mamma… I am very sorry Mamma…
By the way, won’t you get bored watching the natural beauty of the mountains?
You know what is the best thing about the mountains?
Fresh air, long walks, winding paths…
No, not those!
What happened?
Adhira what happened? Come here and sit…
Mamma, eat a little bit Mamma, little bit…
Mamma..
Adhira eat…
A little bit
You want something?
A little bit?
What happened Mamma, why aren’t you eating?
Adhira what happened?
Water, water
Adhira, Adhira…
Mamma…water…
Give her some water
Adhira
Adhira look up, look up
Papa, what should I do?
Call the doctor
Adhira, have some water,
come on, come on have some water...
come on Adhira, come on have some water.
Look up.. look up
…what happened?
Doctor? Doctor Khan?
Thank you so much for getting the Doctor,
if you wouldn’t have been here today, who knows what might have happened
What are you saying Mr Mazumdar!
If neighbours won’t help each other who will...!
By the way, I was thinking that
the time has come... to admit her to the hospital
No!
What happened?
Consider this as my last will
This is my will...
I, Adhira Goswami
Wrirting this on 23rd February 1999.
Mother passed away yesterday.
After a long battle.
Consider this as my will Gaurav and Shivani..
If ever I suffer a stroke like Mummy..
Do not put me on medical help.
Ventilator, or admit me to the hospital..
When I am going, let me go from my home..
This home. Please.
Consider this as my last wish..
Respect it if you love me Gaurav.
Adira.
So doctor, what do you suggest?
Well, would you like to join the caregivers’ group?
I insist... you will feel better sharing…
Doctor, if you were in my place what would you have done?
Gaurav, it’s a very difficult question.
And I can only answer it as a friend, not as a doctor
It’s very painful for me because she is my friend, my schoolmate.
I have witnessed this in my family as well, my father had Alzheimer’s
So, I can just say as a friend
when the heart gives out, when the body gives up, and the mind stops, let her go.
Let go.
Ok Mamma tell me, this was my favourite passage from your favourite book, tell me which one is it?
Living backwards! Alice repeated in great astonishment. I never heard of such a thing
but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memory works both ways.
I am sure MINE only works one way, Alice remarked. I can't remember things before they happen
it's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards, the Queen remarked.
Mamma you used to read out this passage often, do you remember I used to ask you again and again…
Hi guys!
Hi Papa, what’s the occasion?
Today is when your mother and I met for the first time…
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose...
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way...
Papa...
Are you sure?
Selling the house?
Won't you miss all this?
I miss her Shivani.
Always.
When is your flight?
Tomorrow.